[♢] Topher's Tribbles and Things

TOPHER'S USABLE CHARACTER NUMBER ONE [♢, swearing, mentions of suicide and generalized anxiety]:

Neil Bryce DiGiovanni

Nicknames: None
Age: 28
Date of Birth: December 28
Playby: Jared Leto (circa 2009)
Sexuality: Bisexual homoromantic
Why don't we start from the beginning? What are your best, and worst childhood memories? Feel free to spill it all... I won't tell a soul
My best? Probably when I won best costume for Halloween in 6th grade. My mom had made it, and I was dressed up as Jack Skellington. She and I had a blast together and I loved every second. She made me a sign to hold up for trick or treating. My worst is probably the month I started 2nd grade. My older brother, who was seventeen at the time, OD'd on heroin (though I didn't know what that was at the time) and I was the one to find him. 28 days later my dad had shot himself in the head. Then it was down to my mom and me.

Alright, so what about your family? Anything interesting or horrific? Or do you all lead a perfect and boring life? Please! Details, details!
So, um... I pretty much grew up with a single mom. My dad and brother both kicked off the month I started second grade and my mom was amazing. She raised me well and I couldn't love her any more. She recently passed away and I am, uh, now out on the streets.

What are some of your worst fears and why? Did something cause them, or are they just plain irrational?
I am, for probably pretty obvious reasons, terrified of drugs and guns. I will never do drugs, and I will never touch a gun. I'll stick to knives to defend myself. I've gotten pretty good at throwing them.

I suppose we can't all hide from everything forever. Say, what are some of your greatest strengths? What makes you tick? What are you good at? I'm giving you bragging rights here.
I'm great at telling the truth no one wants to hear and I'm also a pretty good listener. I'm also great at looking great. I work hard to style my hair every night. I'm a nice guy for the most part.

Every good has some evil though, no? What are your weaknesses and what just plain boils your blood? Gets you going? Has you wanting to scream or throw a punch or end up acting like a complete and utter fool?
I can piss people off by telling them things they don't want to hear. I bite my fingernails. I get scared pretty easily. I, uh... Can't talk, couldn't to anyone but my mom since the day I lost my dad. I got kicked into special ed as a kid for it.

We've already talked about your family, and yourself in a nutshell, but what about friends or others you keep close? Do you make them easy? Keep a few around? Or are you the kind of person that's not a fan of company?
I'm not antisocial, I just have trouble communicating without a pen and paper. But I also really haven't gotten super close to anyone. There are a couple of people that I see on the streets that I know, but I got to be a little less... Social when I lost my brother and dad and it stuck with me. I was a bit of a loner in high school. No one wanted to stick around long enough for a conversation with a kid who could only write, and I ended up in special ed because my inability to speak in the classroom destroyed my grades even though I'm really smart.

Let's say I was blind, or you needed to be described to me. How would you do so? Don't leave anything out, really I'm curious. Tell me everything about you, height weight, hair eyes, body art, etc. We're all works of art in our own ways.
I'm sexy. I'm pretty. I have short-ish brown hair and blue eyes. Sometimes I let myself get scruffy and sometimes I shave. I have no tattoos. I'm fairly built but slender with it.

Alright, we'll take a shot at your personality now. How would you describe yourself? How would others describe you? Surely we all have a bad bone somewhere but hey, I don't want to be judging a book by it's cover.
I'm a chronic truth-teller even if it isn't something you want to hear. I can be standoffish at times. However, I'm not a dick, and I love to give my time to helping anti-drug or anti-suicide foundations. I don't have much, but I love to help people out if I can. I'll stand by and volunteer and do things that don't require a lot of talking.

What is one thing that nobody knows about you? I promise I won't tell.
I wish that I had someone that was willing to listen that could be patient and maybe give me my voice back.

We don't need to go around playing secret agent though huh? What are your hobbies and what other kinds of things do you enjoy doing with your time?
I like going out to concerts. It's a little hard and I always get pushed away but even though I'm not singing along I love it. When I'm somewhere I can, I like to fuck around and toss a basketball around.

If there was one thing in life that you could change, what would it be and why?
I would probably try to talk so I could be a little more out there with guys. I'm just afraid and my voice won't work. I told my momma that I liked guys too and she was fine with it, just told me to be safe. I'm just scared because it's something new.

Alright, back to your personal life, what's your love life like? I mean, if you even have one? What are you looking for and what completely turns you away from somebody romantically?
I've been single and a virgin all my life. Never gotten close to a guy, but they're definitely the hotter sex. Girls are hot but I don't think the feelings would ever get beyond that. I definitely want to settle down at some point. Hell, I just want a guy, but in the meantime, I'll take what I can get from anyone. I want someone who isn't afraid to tell me what they want. I also want them to realize I'm not a fucking pushover. I'm currently single, and I've never actually been in love. I feel like I'd only fall in love with a guy, but I can't call myself gay because I like looking at chicks too.I just never have had a relationship.

Are you happy right now where you stand? What do you see happening five or ten years from now? Why?
I'm not happy. I'm tired of being alone and I'm tired of the streets. I don't need a shitton of money, though it wouldn't hurt. I'd like to find a guy and settle down and have a home. It just seems right.

Well, I think I've grilled you enough for now. Is there anything else I should know?
Sorry I had to write this all out and make you read it instead of being able to say it.